Do you sometimes find yourself at war in your own mind? You’re unable tell the origin of this war but still you fight it. It’s a battle you’ve been fighting since your childhood and have not yet won. As a matter of fact, the battle always starts at a time when you’re least prepared for it? That is, your moments of doubt, insecurity or fear.
The usual quick fix is to run away from it. Some persons cover it up with an endless list of things to do, or a shopping spree or a Saturday night party with friends.
However, the underlying question is this.
Did you really enjoy yourself?
Today’s blog post addresses the topic of enjoying ourselves. It presents five golden tips that you can immediately implement to begin enjoying yourself and finding peace with who you are.
Why is this necessary?
Simply because you will never truly live and experience happiness if you are in conflict with who you are. When you learn to enjoy yourself for who you are, it is only then you can rise to new levels of maturity, growth and development.
So, allow me to begin by asking you a question.
Have you been truly enjoying yourself?
Now, don’t be quick to answer yes. Many persons quickly say yes to this question because they subconsciously define ‘enjoying yourself’ as going out and having a swell time with friends. What we fail to realize is that you are actually enjoying the company of others, in particular persons whom you feel accepted by.
So, how do you really enjoy yourself?
Enjoying yourself is being able to find joy, happiness and peace with who you really are. I am not referring to the extreme cases of narcissism or self-exaltation. I am talking about being happy with you. Yes, there will always be areas for development. Engaging in this development becomes easier and more successful, when you can enjoy being yourself.
Here are 5 golden tips to help you to enjoy yourself.
- Be thankful – many persons live their lives in the absence of gratitude. They spend so much time magnifying all the things that have gone wrong in their lives. They tend to focus on all those things that they want to change; whilst losing sight of what’s working in their favour. Being thankful and contented enables you to focus on the positive aspect of your life. Get a sheet of paper and make a list of 50 things that you are grateful for. I have personally done this exercise and it was an awesome experience. The flood of positive emotions will guide you in learning to enjoy yourself better.
- Practice forgiveness – Learn to forgive both yourself and others. Sometimes, it is easier to forgive others, but much more challenging to forgive ourselves. This can be compared to leaning over a bridge while holding onto a 50-pound dumbbell. Although your shoulder muscles are being torn by the weight, for some strange reason, you’re unable to let it go. Just let it go, turn around and don’t look back.
What is that burden that you have been carrying around for so long?
Do you have any grudges that you have been holding onto?
Make the decision right now, to let it go. This self-torture will only continue to inflict pain upon you and keep you from enjoying yourself. Additionally, if you have wronged someone, seek their forgiveness and then forgive yourself. This will restore your soul and stimulate feelings of peace and happiness.
- Change your focus when you look in the mirror – Interestingly, we have subconsciously trained ourselves to look in the mirror with our fault seeing eyes. When we look in the mirror, we immediately focus on our bulging tummy, rolling love handles, or we search for any sign of wrinkles. Then we begin to feel depressed, dissatisfied or unhappy about ourselves. Now, I am not suggesting that we ignore things that need to be improved. Rather, prepare a plan to change those things which need to be changed. The principal objective here is to adjust your focus each time you look at yourself in the mirror. Begin to search for those things that you love or can learn to love about yourself and focus your energy there.
- Discover your learning style – Different people have different learning styles and an incompatible learning style can cause you to harbour negative thoughts about yourself. Take for instance, you may be struggling with a course or skill development. Your poor results cause you to think that you are dumb, unintelligent or weak. However, if you take the time to discover your primary learning style or the combination, then you will experience more satisfactory results. The four major learning styles are: visual, auditory, read/write or kinesthetic. When you find what works for you, it will enhance your self-esteem and self-confidence. These are two essential attributes for finding peace with being ourselves.
- Begin to love you – not just in words but also in expression. Start recording your voice and listen to it. Most people can’t bear the sound of their own voice. I can say this, because I was once there. The reason is simply because when we hear our voice, we again focus on those things that we dislike about ourselves. Perhaps, the base in your voice or its softness. Some persons do not like seeing themselves in photos. Begin to train yourself, to love yourself. Please note that I am not talking about selfish self-love. The objective here is to find peace with who you are, so you can truly enjoy being yourself. When this occurs, it becomes easier to eliminate the constant negative self-criticism which destroys your self-esteem, self-worth and confidence.
I hope that these tips were helpful to you. While it’s important to spend time with others, you can be even more at peace in their company when you can enjoy yourself for who you are.
If this blog post resonated with you, then please leave a comment below.
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